SEXING, BETTER PLANS, 8K
Mar. 30th, 2015 01:18![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dzhngsummary: [domestic!au sort of idk] Sehun doesn’t really know how he ends up on the seventh floor of Yi Xing's apartment building, pounding on a random door he isn’t even sure is his, possibly waking up the whole hallway while he does so.
rating: pg-13
a/n:this fic is set in the domestic!au, i advise you to read the two aforegoing drabbles before you read this. you can find more of the series here
Sehun has had times before, in the past, when he thought he was dreaming. Like that time he caught his History teacher slipping out of the janitor’s office with wrinkles in her skirt and when he was six and Wu Fan tried to explain to him that, yes, they were brothers but, no, they didn’t have the same mom and dad.
Right now, he actually expects to wake up in his bed, probably drenched in cold sweat from the horrible nightmare he’s having, just like he did those times.
‘Oh shit,’ Jongin hisses from next to him, grabbing Sehun’s arm as if Sehun will have a heart attack and die within a couple of seconds. Which is understandable because right in front of both of them, Yi Xing is taking off his white button up, revealing toned arms and those sharp, sharp collar bones right above the hem of his wife beater.
‘I’m sorry, I’m such a klutz,’ Joonmyun says, already fetching for napkins to do some damage control to the coffee stains he left on Yi Xing’s chest, ‘I hadn’t seen you at all.’
And Sehun is standing frozen in the door opening of Joonmyun’s furniture shop, staring at Yi Xing. At Yi Xing with his slicked back hair and fucking arms and tired lines around his eyes and oh god, he hasn’t seen him for over a month and he can’t-
‘Sehun!’ Joonmyun calls, after realizing Sehun and Jongin are standing in the store, ‘Did you just come in to see Wu Fan, too?’ and Yi Xing looks up, recognizing Sehun, and all the color drainsfrom his fucking cheeks.
‘He’s out having lunch with Chanyeol at the moment, they should be back within half an hour or something,’ Joonmyun says cheerfully, obviously not noticing the fact that Sehun and Yi Xing are having a moment here.
‘Uhh,’ Jongin whispers, because he does realize they are having a moment, ‘What do I do here? Do I just-’
Run, Sehun thinks, run and drag me with you, or if it’s not too much of a bother, grab the nearest sharp object and stab me with it.
‘Sehun-ah,’ Yi Xing says softly, and Sehun… FUCKING SHORT CIRCUITS!!!
‘I, ah, have to go now,’ he says, voice cracking, ‘Honestly forgot why I came here,’ and fuck Yi Xing’s arms look good, he would like to very much put his teeth in the- no. Nonono, he does not actually want to do that. Hahaha. He does not want to do anything sexual to Yi Xing at all.
Sehun chokes on nothing but air.
‘I now… must go,’ he gasps.
‘What?’ Joonmyun laughs, obviously confused, still rubbing with napkins over the coffee stain on Yi Xing’s belly which is just.
NOT OKAY.
‘Sehun…’ Jongin starts and is that a nipple showing through Yi Xing’s shirt? Is it really?!
‘Very many things to do and everything. This has been a terrible mistake. Must really go.’ And Sehun slowly walks backwards to the door of the shop, fully aware of how idiotic– no scratch that, how insane he must look.
‘But, Sehun,’ Yi Xing says, stepping forward.
‘Are you okay?’ Jongin says, reaching out for Sehun’s arm.
And as a reply, Sehun bolts for the fucking door.
-
‘What a great way to deal with that situation,’ Minseok mutters as he pushes a latte towards Sehun over the counter. He drops a sugar cube into it, just how Sehun likes his coffee, and Sehun sighs and grabs the steaming mug, taking a sip without stirring. The milk in his coffee is scalding hot, but Sehun doesn’t care. He doesn’t care because his life is a fucking disaster anyway and burning his tongue is the least of his problems.
‘I don’t think I have ever been so terrified in my life,’ he says.
He can’t get the imagine of Yi Xing being totally shocked out of his head. The way he had obviously dreaded the fact that he and Sehun were in one fucking room, the way he hadn’t known what to say to someone he’s known for ten years and fucked on a weekly basis for three.
What he also can’t get out of his head, is the image of Yi Xing’s coffee drenched shirt. And his nipple. That glorious, pink little fucker of a nipple.
‘That must be true since you’ve been moping about this guy for weeks and the first chance you get to talk to him you run away.’
Minseok wipes the espresso machine clean and then abandons it, sitting down next to Sehun on one of the bar stools at the counter. Business is slow, the rush of lunch break over and the little customers left in the shop already provided for, so it must be okay to leave base.
‘I didn’t know what to do!’ Sehun whines, ‘I am not used to confrontations in furniture shops, okay. Or anywhere. The last time I had an actual fight with someone was with my lab partner in high school and I haven’t actually spoken to Jung Soo Jung since eleventh grade.’
‘You are actually pathetic,’ Minseok laughs, shaking his head, but it’s a sad laugh, a laugh that you laugh when you feel sorry for someone who is too socially inept to confess his undying love to his brother’s best friend.
Sehun realizes fully well that he is living the scenario of the single worst soap opera ever. That doesn’t make it easier to live it. Because Yi Xing’s nipples are very fucking pink.
‘I know that,’ Sehun groans, and he drops his head to the wooden counter, ‘Of course I knowthat, hyung. So why doesn’t everybody else? Why can’t people give me a break?’
‘You said he looked shocked,’ Minseok says, ignoring this, and his hand finds the back of Sehun’s neck to squeeze it comfortingly, ‘Does that mean bad shocked or good shocked?’
‘What’s the difference?’ Sehun mumbles into the countertop, ‘What the actual hell is the-’
‘Well,’ Minseok says, ‘Bad shocked meaning oh god please leave, why are you back in my lifeand good shocked meaning… Err.’
The pause is more than a little disconcerting.
‘There is no such thing as good shocked, is there?’ Sehun says bitterly.
‘No, there is,’ Minseok says, ‘It’s just a little harder to explain.’
‘How am I supposed to know whether he was bad or good shocked? How am I supposed to know anything about him? He is a big fucking-’
‘No cursing in my espresso bar, Oh Sehun!’
‘-Chinese mystery enigma person with amazing collar bones and the face of an actual angel.’
‘For someone with a face as impassive as yours you are a hell of a sap,’ Minseok points out, and Sehun is so devastated he doesn’t even punch him for it.
‘What am I going to do, hyung?’ he says, ‘What am I ever going to do?’
Minseok sighs. A customer walks in, and he squeezes Sehun’s neck one last time before he goes back behind the counter.
‘It’ll work itself out,’ he says after taking the customer’s order and messing with the espresso machine, ‘Things like this always do.’
-
The thing is.
The thing. The thing is…
The thing is, that—
Okay. Sehun obviously doesn’t know what the thing is.
The thing is that Sehun doesn’t know what the actual fuck is going on.
The thing is that Sehun has been in love with Yi Xing, his brother’s best friend, for ten years now, for ten agonizing years, and he just can’t do it anymore. The fucking. The kissing. The not talking about “what” they “are” and how to go from that. The secrets and the, well, the fucking.
The thing is that Sehun asked Wu Fan why Yi Xing’s family is “complicated”, what that actuallymeans, and Wu Fan said: ‘Complicated means being the heir to a company you don’t want, and the son to parents who don’t care what you do want.’
Sehun wants Yi Xing, as in, wants him completely, and Yi Xing only gives him breadcrumbs that don’t even lead him to the witch’s house.
The thing is that Sehun thinks that that’s the only kind of affection Yi Xing knows how to show.
-
Sehun trusted Minseok when he told him things would work out. He trusted him because Minseok owns three fucking espresso bars around town and has awards hanging in his office for his awesome coffee making skills and lives in a Gangnam apartment with a minibar in the living room.
He trusted him because it seemed like the thing to do, taking advice from a self-made man like Kim Minseok.
Yet trusting a self-made man like Kim Minseok turned out to be a fucking mistake.
It’s a Thursday, and Sehun is clipping his toenails because he doesn’t have anything better to do because Yi Xing hasn’t come over in over a month which his mind apparently cannot accept because he continues to clear his schedule for Thursday afternoons even when Yi Xing hasn’t come over in over a month. It’s raining, too, which is in sync with Sehun’s mood.
So when there’s a knock on Sehun’s door and Sehun decides he doesn’t have to bother with a shirt because it’s probably just someone asking him to turn the music down (which he will not do because you are supposed to play hip hop music very loudly, Wu Fan explained to him once), he is more than a little surprised to find Yi Xing standing in his door opening, soaking wet from the downpour outside.
‘Uhh,’ Sehun says intelligently.
‘Hi, Sehun-ah,’ Yi Xing says, eyes drifting to Sehun’s naked chest, and then sneezes.
And Sehun isn’t sure what this means, because Yi Xing closes the door behind him and kisses him, tasting like rain and Chinese food which he probably had for lunch. And when Sehun detaches his mouth and wants to ask what this means, Yi Xing gives him this look, this fucking heartbreaking pleading look , and shakes his head.
‘Later,’ he says, and okay Sehun thinks, and then they fuck on the bed.
Yi Xing is still shivering once they’re done, and Sehun is, well, feeling as sick as Yi Xing looks. But for totally different reasons, of course.
He crawls out of bed and grabs a sweater and an extra blanket.
‘I think you’re getting sick,’ he says, ‘You should wear this.’ He holds out the sweater, this ugly grey thing that he stole from Jongin in high school once, and Yi Xing takes it. His cheeks are all red and Sehun doesn’t know if it’s from sex or illness.
‘I’m fine,’ he mumbles even as he slides into the thing. It’s doesn’t fit quite right, it’s too wide at the shoulders and too short at the sleeves, but at least Yi Xing looks a little less cold in it.
Sehun gets back into bed, and Yi Xing pulls him into his chest, makes him lie on top of him underneath the covers.
‘You’re very warm,’ he says, his voice coming out too nasal but still sounding like a smile, ‘Warmer than the sweater.’
‘Well,’ Sehun says, ‘I suppose that’s because I’m very hot.’
And fuck. Shit, really just shit, that came out wrong and very conceited and Sehun actually shrinks into himself because he actually meant that he felt hot as in warm because we just had sex and I do not have a possible fever like you do.
But Yi Xing chuckles and snuggles even closer, and he says: ‘That you are.’
There’s a comfortable enough silence for a while, but then Sehun just has to ask because this is getting ridiculous and he won’t be able to forgive himself if he lets Yi Xing go this time without answers. He’s also pretty sure Minseok will kick him if he finds out.
‘Why did you come?’ he says into Yi Xing’s hair, ‘You haven’t… you haven’t been here for quite some time, hyung.’
He can hear Yi Xing swallowing and he looks down. Yi Xing’s nose is red and his eyes glossy and, really, Sehun should think he gross, sickly and sweaty from the probably upcoming fever, but instead he thinks Yi Xing looks kind of beautiful.
‘Maybe I missed you,’ Yi Xing says softly, reaching out to stroke through Sehun’s hair, ‘If that’s okay.’
‘I could’ve been busy,’ Sehun says, because he’s an idiot, and needs to never speak again,‘Maybe I’d been out with friends, or studying, or grocery shopping…’
‘But you weren’t,’ Yi Xing chuckles, scratching behind Sehun’s ear, ‘I’m very grateful for that.’
‘Oh,’ Sehun says, because, well, how do you reply to that, ‘That’s… yeah.’
And there’s a million other things Sehun wants to ask, wants to explain, but somehow he can’t bring himself to do it with the way Yi Xing keeps sniffing and sneezing and how he pulls Sehun closer into his chest whenever he shivers particularly violently.
Sehun is terrified that Yi Xing, with his ear on Sehun’s chest, can hear his erratic heartbeat giving away how he feels but Yi Xing doesn’t say anything about it.
-
This is why Sehun was so shocked to see Yi Xing at the furniture shop:
Weeks ago, Sehun asked Yi Xing, after their weekly fuck fest, why Wu Fan called Yi Xing’s relationship with his family “complicated” and Yi Xing didn’t answer that question. Instead, he left, and didn’t contact Sehun again.
And that felt like five years ago, when Sehun was alone with Yi Xing in the kitchen of Sehun’s house, Wu Fan searching for some book in his room, and he was seconds, seconds away from telling him he was in love with him, when Yi Xing grabbed his face between both his hands and kissed the words right out of his mouth, called him a cutie afterwards and then pretended none of it happened when they heard Wu Fan coming down the stairs.
Yi Xing has a habit of taking little pieces of Sehun’s heart when he least expects it and then disappearing with it, only to barge back into his life silently asking for more.
-
Sehun doesn’t wake up in an empty bed a few hours later.
What he does wake up to, is a fucking cold body on his chest. A shivering cold fucking body.
‘Shit, hyung, you look terrible,’ Sehun groans when Yi Xing wakes too and looks up. He yawns, then sneezes, the stupid stupid fuck and hell, Yi Xing looks even worse than he did before. Since when do people even develop colds that quickly?
‘I think,’ Yi Xing says, then coughs for what seems to be a full minute, ‘I think I need medicine.’
Sehun tries to reach the nightstand without moving from underneath Yi Xing but can’t. Yi Xing chuckles, a nasty and raspy sound, and then he rolls off Sehun.
Then he sneezes again.
‘My head hurts,’ Yi Xing grumbles as Sehun gets up to find some pain killers, ‘Everything is spinning.’
‘That’s your own fault,’ Sehun says, rummaging through his nightstand, ‘You should’ve brought an umbrella. And warmer clothes.’ He stares at Yi Xing´s poor excuse for a shirt on the floor, with a v-neck that is sinful, and apparently, also quite dangerous to your physical health.
‘Well, I guess it was worth it,’ Yi Xing says, and Sehun isn’t sure if the lilt to his voice is teasing or, you know, just him being fucking sick, ‘Do you have painkillers?’
‘Yeah,’ Sehun says and then he tosses a strip onto the bed and starts looking for his water bottle in his backpack.
When he finds it and returns to the bed, Yi Xing is already popping three pills into his mouth, and he washes them down with the water quickly.
Sehun looks at him and suppresses a sigh. This would not be the moment to start a conversation about their “relationship” yet all he can think about is their “relationship” (and Yi Xing’s wellbeing of course) and it makes Sehun feel a little queasy because he doesn’t trust his own mouth. Also Yi Xing’s short, black hair is mussed and his eyes are puffy from sleep and illness and he looks gross/adorable/sexy in ways that give Sehun a serious fucking headache. He doesn’t know what to do or say.
So he just… stands in his room like a deranged person.
Which Yi Xing must be noticing because he chuckles, a horrible sound, and then throws the blankets off himself, revealing pale skin and lean muscles where the sweater isn't covering him up.
‘Am I in your way, Sehun-ah?’ he asks sweetly, and Sehun has to actually bite his lip not to tell Yi Xing that he will never be in his way ever because it’s better to have him around than to not have him around and think about him all the time in an angsty teenage love story sort of way. He looks at his toes.
‘I was clipping my toenails when you came over,’ he says because, as said before, Sehun is a fucking idiot.
‘Pressing matters,’ Yi Xing nods in that way that makes Sehun confused about whether or not he’s serious or joking, ‘When the medication has kicked in I’ll probably feel good enough to call a cab or something. I’ll get out of your hair.’
‘No, of course not. You can stay as long as you want,’ Sehun says, then gasps at his emotions, then groans and sits at the edge of the bed.
‘Are you okay?’ Yi Xing asks, and Sehun can hear the sheets rustling and then Yi Xing’s hand is on his shoulder, his chest against Sehun’s back, ‘You seem a little… off. Is something going on?’
Yes!!! Sehun wants to scream.
‘No,’ Sehun says.
I am in love with you and you keep hurting me and confusing me!!! Sehun wants to scream.
‘I’m just tired,’ Sehun says.
The thing is, though, that Yi Xing seems to pick up what Sehun wants to say instead of what he’s actually saying, because he noses the side of Sehun’s neck, kisses the little dip between throat and shoulder, and says: ‘I’m sorry.’
It’s silent for a long time before Sehun squeaks: ‘For what?’
Yi Xing is playing with the hairs in Sehun’s neck and one hand slides around his waist and they’re all pressed up against each other now, but Yi Xing’s grip is loose like he wants Sehun to be able to escape if he needs to.
‘You know,’ Yi Xing says, ‘I never really meant to do it. But-’ he coughs again and it makes Sehun wince, ‘I have been treating you quite badly, I think.’
‘Not badly,’ Sehun counters, and he gingerly slides his own palm over Yi Xing’s hand, feeling the roughness of his fingers and enjoying how easily Yi Xing spreads his fingers for Sehun to put his own between. He wouldn’t call giving Sehun the orgasms and kisses of his life “bad”.
‘I think when you know someone has feelings for you, and you take advantage of that because you want to make yourself feel better,’ Yi Xing says, and all of a sudden Sehun doesn’t enjoy their interlaced fingers anymore, ‘That’s called treating someone badly.’
The anger hits him fast like a bullet. Sehun wants to—he wants to… He doesn’t know what he wants.
But he is fucking furious all of a sudden and his body is—
Standing up and screaming sounds like the thing to do. Or throwing all the things he owns in this room against the wall. But so does running away and finding a nice, lonely corner to cry in. Either way, Sehun is stiff with rage and he can’t find a way to breathe around the sense of embarrassment that’s currently clogging up his windpipe.
‘You knew.’
It’s not a question. Sehun’s jaw is tight, his teeth clenched.
‘Well,’ Yi Xing begins, but Sehun doesn’t want to hear it, because Yi Xing has this way of talking about everything he does in such a self-deprecating way that Sehun feels sorry and forgiving towards him before he even finishes his arguments, and right now, Sehun doesn’t want to forgive him.
He wants to be pissed off.
‘You knew I was in love with you,’ he interrupts whatever Yi Xing is saying, and Yi Xing sniffs, his droopy eyes pleading, and it just pisses Sehun off even more.
‘Do you know the agony-’ he starts, then catches himself because he doesn’t need Yi Xing to fucking feel sorry for him either, and then he just gets up from the bed, grabs Yi Xing’s shirt and tosses it into his lap.
‘Sehun,’ Yi Xing says.
‘I think it’s time you went home,’ Sehun says.
He marches off into the bathroom and doesn’t come out before he’s sure Yi Xing has left.
-
‘You’re ruining my business,’ Minseok says as he hands Sehun over his fourth iced latte.
‘How is that?’ Sehun grumbles, picking his head up from his table and jabbing the straw Minseok has also put down into his drink.
‘Because no lovey dovey couple is going to enjoy their coffee date in my espresso bar when there’s a sobbing teenager sitting next to them.’
‘I’m not sobbing. Or a teenager.’
‘But you are,’ Minseok says, pointing at the suspiciously wet spot on the table where Sehun’s head used to be, ‘And when you’re not sobbing, you’re scowling at people, and that is also not good for business.’
‘So you want me to leave because I’m a parasite. Great,’ Sehun sighs, yet not feeling angry about that because, well, that would be distracting him from his embarrassment and heartbreak over The Chinese Heartbreak-Xing Situation (Jongin is terrible at naming things, that is why his dogs are called Monggu, Jjanga and Jjangu for fuck’s sake). Sehun likes to wallow.
Minseok sighs and flicks Sehun’s forehead like he isn’t hurting enough already.
‘No, I want you to stop feeling sorry for yourself and get a life,’ Minseok says, ‘The parasite thing is just an excuse for my concern.’ He pauses for a second and then adds, ‘But you are bad for business.’
Sehun slurps from his iced latte until the brain freeze kicks in. He wishes he could get heart freeze, too. Or, better yet, he would like not to have a heart at all like that tin guy in The Wizard of Oz. Talking about that tin guy, why would anybody want a fucking heart anyway?! It can only break and then all you have left is this hollow feeling in your chest and stomach/headaches from ice cold chocolate flavored beverages with too much sugar in them.
‘You have that look in your eyes, like you’re trying to find solutions to your life by going through the plot of My Love from The Stars again,’ Minseok says, and Sehun puts his head back down on the table and groans.
‘I never want to do anything ever again.’
‘That sounds hard,’ Minseok says.
‘I’m serious,’ Sehun whines, hard enough for a man who is working at his laptop to sigh and pack up his things to go find a quieter place. Sehun sees Minseok cringe as the man walks past, giving Sehun a nasty look, and thinks, see, I am a fucking parasite.
‘You should stop feeling sorry for yourself,’ Minseok says again, sounding like his patience is slipping as he sits down across from Sehun, ‘What do you want to do? Do you want to have a fist fight with him? Or move on? Or, like… cry on his shoulder and make up with large amounts of sex and blowjobs or whatever you do when you like men? I can’t help you when the only thing you do is sit here and groan like a clubbed seal. Do you want this to be okay again or not?’
‘I don’t fucking know, hyung!’ Sehun shrieks, and Minseok slaps him on the back of his head hard enough for the whole shop to hear.
The thing is, Sehun does know what he wants. He wants to go over to Yi Xing’s downtown apartment, grab him by the shoulders and shake him very hard for making Sehun’s life miserable for the past decade. Then he wants to ask him if he recovered well from his fever, because Sehun did throw him out of his dorm room with the sniffles. Then he will demand Yi Xing to make some sort of life commitment to Sehun to never hurt him again and, if possible, give him all of his heart so they can be together. Then they can have a lot of make up sex and everything will be great and wonderful and epically heavenly.
But there is a chance that Yi Xing will not want to give Sehun all of his heart, because Yi Xing has slept with Sehun for over three years and allowed Sehun to jack off to the idea of them kissing for at least eight, and he never said a fucking thing about it. Or acted on it.
So Sehun also, kind of, wants to gut him with a blunt knife. To be honest.
All wandering thoughts that distract him from Minseok just slapping the back of his head.
‘No cursing in my bar,’ Minseok hisses, and Sehun rubs the back of his head and prays the headache will make him forget about the heartache.
-
Three weeks into The Chinese Heartbreak-Xing Situation, and Wu Fan is going fucking nuts.
‘You are pathetic,’ he hisses as he drags Sehun out the dorm in his pajama pants, ‘And a shitty excuse for a human being,’ across campus and past the subway station , ‘And the worst brotherever,’ into the nearest samgyeopsal restaurant, ‘And you need to get drunk and stop wallowing.’
‘I hate you,’ Sehun says ten minutes later when Wu Fan jams his mouth full with lettuce and meat and then pushes a glass of soju towards him and gives him a look that says you better drink this, or else.
‘No. I hate you. You are ruining my life,’ Wu Fan just responds, giving Sehun another shot immediately after he’s downed his first, ‘You can’t sleep with my best friend behind my back and then make yourself miserable, and then also make him miserable because you’re miserable-’
‘What the-’
‘-because it’s making me miserable and I don’t like being miserable at all.’
Sehun wipes his mouth after his second shot and watches Wu Fan finish the rest of the soju bottle in one go. He makes a very painful noise after swallowing and gestures for the ahjumma watching them disapprovingly at the bar to bring them another bottle.
‘So,’ Sehun says, feeling even more like a loser, ‘You knew, too?’
‘No, you moron,’ Wu Fan growls, pushing the meat around on the grill, ‘I am the most dense motherfucker on the planet. I didn’t have a fucking clue.’
‘True.’
‘But you’ve been rewatching Titanic for at least fifteen times these past weeks, and Yi Xing keeps playing extremely depressing love songs on his guitar every time I come over, and I’m notthat dense,’ Wu Fan sighs.
Sehun supposes Wu Fan isn’t. He also supposes Yi Xing playing depressing love songs because of him makes him feel oddly good about himself.
‘Also he told me you guys were having a fight, so my suspicions were confirmed with hard facts,’ Wu Fan mumbles, ‘And now I’m here to make you stop self-destructing with tragic movies and bacon flavored crisps.’
‘So, you’re going to get me drunk and tell me to get over it?’ Sehun says, taking pieces of bulgogioff the grill and adding it to the other side dishes he’s put in Wu Fan’s lettuce, ‘Because Jongin tried that, and I ended up holding his bangs up as he vomited up two orders of fried chicken at his sister’s house.’
‘No,’ Wu Fan says, ‘I have a better plan.’
And an hour or two later, Sehun would understand what Wu Fan’s plan was, if he were sober. Because Wu Fan has been getting him absolutely plastered and now he’s drunk-texting Yi Xing he’s coming over from a cab, Wu Fan giving even more drunk directions to the driver next to him.
‘Right. Here,’ Wu Fan hiccups, ‘N-nonono, I said right, didn’t I say right? why are we—are we going left?! Oh my god, are you seriously that-’
As the cab driver mutters something about Wu Fan needing to check his thumbs, Sehun checks out the enormous Gangnam apartment buildings and imagines Yi Xing living in every one of them. Then they pull up to possibly the biggest, fanciest one, and
Wufan pushes him out of the cab.
‘Make up, or something,’ he screams way too loudly and drunkenly as Sehun stumbles onto the sidewalk, drawing attention from practically the entire block, ‘And have sex and then never talk to me about this again!!!’
‘I fuckin’ hate you,’ Sehun yells back, and he is so out of it that he doesn’t even realize Wu Fan is giving him the finger before he slams the door of the cab shut, probably shouting the wrong directions back to his own place at the driver.
He also doesn’t really know how he ends up on the seventh floor of the apartment building, pounding on a random door he isn’t even sure is Yi Xing’s, possibly waking up the whole hallway while he does so.
‘Sehun!’ someone yells, from the entire other end of the hall, and Sehun turns too quickly for his drunk mind to catch up, making himself nauseous. Yi Xing is standing in the door opening of his apartment, wearing red pajama pants and a long sleeved shirt.
Because Sehun’s life is a joke, Yi Xing looks superfantastically hot in a sad kind of way. This does not make Sehun less drunk and angry, though.
‘You asshole,’ Sehun hisses, just as an old, respectable looking man opens the door he’s standing in front of in a bathrobe with a phone in his hand, looking absolutely furious.
‘I am calling the police right this instant,’ he says, and Sehun would yell at him to mind his own business if it wasn’t for Yi Xing suddenly being there and dragging him into the largest and most expensive looking living room Sehun has ever seen in real life.
‘You can’t do this, Sehun,’ Yi Xing says, but he doesn’t sound angry, Sehun thinks. Not that thinking is… going so well, right now.
‘You can’t do this,’ he growls, stumbling as Yi Xing pushes him onto the couch, ‘You can’t just… just, just fuckin’, do this. Do me! And then…’ he waves his hands around which must properly explain what he means because Yi Xing looks apologetic and then puts a hand to Sehun’s cheek. He smells like the most delicious shower gel ever and cheese crackers.
Fuck, Sehun would kill for a cheese cracker. Yi Xing must have really expensive ones that taste like butter and cheesy heaven and salt from Atlantis or something.
‘You’ra bad person, hyung,’ Sehun sighs, ‘So, so bad. It’s just bad. You’re… you are bad.’
‘I know,’ Yi Xing says, ‘And I’m sorry.’
‘No, you’re not,’ Sehun mumbles, taking another good sniff of the cheese on Yi Xing’s breath. His mouth is watering, he realizes distantly. Because of the cheese. Not because Yi Xing is a fucking hot heartbreaker person thing. His hand is still on Sehun’s cheek, which is… distracting.
‘No, I am,’ Yi Xing says, swiping his thumb past the corner of Sehun’s lip, ‘And you would know if you answered my calls. Or texts. Or e-mails.’
‘… Or Facebook messages,’ Sehun helpfully adds, and Yi Xing laughs, sounding like an angel.
‘Or Facebook messages,’ he says.
‘So, what now?’ Sehun says, getting tired and wanting cheese crackers and, maybe, to make out with Yi Xing a little. He’s slumping forward and Yi Xing catches him, a firm hand on Sehun’s chest, ‘I wazzupposed to… you know. Scream. But then Wu Fan screamed and I used up all my scream? I am too tired…’ he yawns and Yi Xing chuckles again, running a hand through Sehun’s hair, ‘… to scream. So.’
‘Wu Fan is a good hyung,’ Yi Xing says, as if that matters at all.
‘I hate him,’ Sehun says, burping up some soju and scowling at the taste in his mouth, ‘An’ Minseok hyung. An’ you, too. Hyungs are…’ he waves his hand again, ‘…Stupid.’
Then the level of attraction to the cheese/Yi Xing’s mouth becomes too much and Sehun turns his head towards Yi Xing, trying to look at him properly despite of his drunk, foggy vision.
‘And hot,’ he says, and he leans in.
Sehun obviously expects Yi Xing to not return the kiss and push him away, since Sehun is, after all, a drunk, blubbering mess and probably smells like barbeque and soju.
But he doesn’t expect Yi Xing to say ‘Don’t you think we should stop kissing away the important conversations for once?’ as he does it.
Sehun blinks.
‘Whah?’
‘I just think,’ Yi Xing says, and he looks nervous and gorgeous and like he’s about to embarrass Sehun again, ‘We should talk first. Sober. Before we do this again.’
It’s kind of hurtful for all it isn’t completely and utterly terrifying, so Sehun makes a nasty sound and looks away, feeling rejected. But then Yi Xing takes his face between both hands this time, forcing their eyes to meet.
‘What I’m saying is, I would very much like to apologize in person. When you’re sober. You can stay the night and tomorrow I will give you some painkillers and we can talk.’
‘Hmmfrgph,’ Sehun manages to get out, positively drowning in Yi Xing’s dark bottomless pools of eyes (‘Dramatic,’ Jongin called his drunken state once, ‘Extremely fucking dramatic’).
‘You can sleep in my bed, come on,’ Yi Xing says.
Sehun lets himself get dragged to a gigantic bedroom, lets Yi Xing strip him and put him in a soft, grey wife beater that smells just Yi Xing’s skin, and then lets Yi Xing tuck him into the softest bed ever.
‘I want cheese crackers,’ he mumbles, already half asleep and burying his face into the pillow, ‘An’ kisses.’
‘I’ll get you some,’ Yi Xing says, smiling down at him. Sehun thinks he feels lips kissing his forehead but he’s asleep before he can tell.
-
There is sunlight shining into Sehun’s eyes when he wakes up, through the crack between the curtains, and Sehun thinks, as he turns away from the hellish light, that he would very much like to commit hara-kiri if possible because his head hurts more than he thought possible.
Then he sits up, big mistake, and feels more nauseous than he thought possible and then he thinks about what the fucking fuck happened last night and he feels more embarrassed than he thought possible.
He considers sneaking out of Yi Xing’s window but then he realizes he’s scared of heights, or at least extremely high heights, so yeah.
When he has mustered up enough courage to drag his ass out of the bedroom, he finds Yi Xing in the living room, sleeping in a sitting position on the couch with his guitar resting on his lap. There’s also a book with lyrics lying open on the coffee table.
Sehun considers his options:
1. Going into the kitchen and finding whatever amount of painkillers he can find so he can numb his massive hangover, then possibly stealing Yi Xing’s book with lyrics.
2. Slipping out of the apartment and pretending last night never, ever happened.
There is, of course, also the third option which includes Sehun brushing his teeth, waking Yi Xing up and talking about whatever they need to talk about, but that one sounds absolutely ridiculous, so…
Sehun is about to get his clothes off the floor of Yi Xing’s bedroom when he hears a yawn, and he panics but doesn’t know where to run and is now suddenly honestly considering the option of jumping out of the window when
‘Good morning, Sehun-ah,’ Yi Xing says, in a croaking, sweet, gorgeously tired voice, and Sehun feels his stomach turning, the butterflies twirling ‘round and ‘round and ‘round in his sensitive belly. Yi Xing stretches, and there’s a bit of skin visible between his shirt and sweatpants and Sehun’s mouth feels dry, his throat funny. He thinks it’s a wave of lovesickness at first, the gut churning thing that happens, but it’s when he throws up all over the living room floor while trying to say hello that he realizes it’s not.
‘Well,’ Yi Xing says, watching it all happen, ‘That’s quite the conversation starter.’
-
‘So if I get this right,’ Jongin says around a mouthful of mini chocolate chip cookies, shamelessly hoarding the basket as if Joonmyun, who’s in the bathroom, hadn’t ordered them for everybody, ‘You threw up on his carpet and then became his boyfriend?’
Sehun groans, and Yi Xing laughs and Wu Fan just puts on that constipated face he has been wearing a lot ever since his best friend and younger brother started dating.
‘That’s so… romantic,’ Chanyeol sighs helplessly, giving Wu Fan a longing look.
‘Is it?’ Jongin asks, pieces of cookie flying from his mouth, ‘I thought buying flowers was romantic. Or, you know, kissing… and stuff.’ He blushes, because he is pathetic, and Sehun wants to leave.
But then Minseok comes with their drinks (decaf hazelnut latte for Jongin because, as said earlier, he’s pathetic, and various versions of coffee for the rest of them) and he gives Jongin a pat on the head and another basket of cookies as he says: ‘It’s so obvious you grew up with two sisters and no sense of reality, poor kid.’
Jongin looks confused and Minseok smug and Yi Xing squeezes Sehun’s thigh underneath the table as Sehun takes a sip from his coffee and licks the foam mustache from his lips. They’re sitting too close for Wu Fan’s liking, which means they’re sitting perfectly close for Sehun’s.
Sehun squirms in his seat when Yi Xing’s hand slides higher, and he thinks about all the things he’s going to do to Yi Xing when they get back to his apartment and they’ve taken their clothes off. They might not be able to make it to the bedroom today, because Yi Xing has been teasing Sehun all afternoon. During the cab ride to Minseok’s bar, he “fell asleep” on Sehun’s lap and shamelessly rubbed his head against Sehun’s groin as Sehun tried very hard not to go crazy.
‘There was a long conversation before the boyfriend part,’ Yi Xing laughs, bringing an almost drooling Sehun back to the present.
There was. Sehun cried and it was embarrassing but then Yi Xing told him he might be kind of really in love with Sehun, too. Everything was okay after that, even the throwing up and crying part.
‘And a lot of fucking,’ Sehun helpfully chips in, reminiscing the moment in the shower, and then in the bedroom, and then in the shower again.
‘God, please kill me,’ Wu Fan mutters, and Chanyeol pats him on the back consolingly before he slides his chair closer and turns the patting into some sort of foreplay-ish stroking of the shoulder and neck. Wu Fan doesn’t seem to notice. Or he just likes it, which is even more disconcerting, Sehun thinks.
‘Why are you guys always talking about wanting to die or sex when I get back from the restroom?’ Joonmyun sighs as he takes his seat next to Jongin, who is busy eating the second batch of mini cookies without hands. Joonmyun tugs at Jongin’s hair to get his nose out of the basket (literally) and then takes a sip of his double espresso.
‘I never talk about wanting to die or sex,’ Jongin says, and Joonmyun smiles sadly at his cousin as he gives him a tissue to wipe the streaks of chocolate and cookie crumbs from his face.
‘That you do not,’ he says.
Yi Xing’s hand is now on Sehun’s dick and Sehun is slowly sipping from his cappuccino and pretending he isn’t fucking turned on and ready to pounce Yi Xing right here in front of all of their friends. He keeps an eye on his boyfriend (because that’s what Yi Xing is now, for everyone to know and for Sehun to still have delightful, little panic attacks about when he’s alone and reality strikes), and Yi Xing is innocently stirring the sugar in his coffee and listening to Joonmyun telling some boring anecdote about his tutee-turned-prince charming Kyungsoo and a wine salesman down at Insa-dong.
Innocently stirring his coffee and, of course, palming Sehun’s cock through his jeans.
Sehun is going nuts. He keeps shifting, trying to, sort of, increase the friction while at the same time imagining what Wu Fan would do to Yi Xing if he found out what was going on underneath their table.
Yi Xing keeps making these humming noises to let Joonmyun know he’s listening to his stupid story, but he’s also slowly unzipping Sehun’s jeans, pushing in a finger and running it up and down the small part of Sehun’s length he can reach.
It’s driving Sehun nuts. It’s driving Sehun mad. It’s driving Sehun to the brink of horny desperation.
‘WE NEED TO GO!’ he declares in a war lord sort of tone, shooting up as Joonmyun gets to the “good part” where Kyungsoo beats the wine-salesman in an argument about fucking chianti wine, and covering up his bulge with his backpack.
‘Sehun-ah…’ Yi Xing says in fake shock, but Sehun has pulled him out of the bar before anybody can protest.
‘What the hell, hyung,’ he hisses as he drags Yi Xing to the nearest alleyway where they can have some sort of privacy, ‘You can’t touch me like that in public!’
‘But you look so pretty when you’re flushing and desperate,’ Yi Xing says, in a considering tone that suggest he’s talking about what type of fucking ice cream he prefers over the other.
‘Wu Fan hyung will kill you one day,’ Sehun grunts, and then he pushes Yi Xing against the wall of the alley and slams his mouth onto Yi Xing’s before the man can reply.
It is desperate for a moment, with clanking teeth and Sehun nipping at Yi Xing’s mouth hard enough to hurt, but then Yi Xing puts his hand on Sehun’s hips, angles his chin up, and guides them into a slower, more sensual rhythm, into a kiss that makes Sehun gasp helplessly into Yi Xing’s slick and warm mouth. Sehun has a height advantage over Yi Xing but Yi Xing has this way of taking the reins, letting Sehun go wild before he yanks his hair or pushes him into the bed or holds him still and looks at him, and then Sehun gets pliant and lets Yi Xing do whatever he wants, gives him complete control and lets go.
It’s always been like that, and it’s been dangerous, too, in those days when Sehun was desperate for Yi Xing’s attention and Yi Xing didn’t know what to do with the power he had over him because he didn’t know what he wanted. Those were the times when Sehun gave in because he hoped Yi Xing would do the same. But now, as Yi Xing gently pushes Sehun’s head lower and kisses at the corner of his chin, mouthing up his jaw with his teeth scraping past Sehun’s skin in that way that makes him shudder, Sehun knows there’s a difference.
Because now, Yi Xing makes him shudder because he knows what Sehun wants and he likes to give him what he wants. Now, he palms Sehun’s cock underneath a restaurant table, because he knows Sehun’s been thinking about fucking him during the entire conversation. Now, he makes Sehun match his pace because he knows eventually Sehun will enjoy this way of kissing better.
Now, he comes over on Thursday afternoons, and he stays.
'We need to go home,' Sehun says into Yi Xing's mouth, and Yi Xing chuckles, breathing coffee scented hair against Sehun's skin.
'If I knew you'd get so needy after becoming my boyfriend, I would have figured out my feelings way earlier,' he says.
'Do realize that you are saying this after you needed to get a new carpet because you fucked my head up so much,' Sehun scowls, but he is not angry, because Yi Xing is his boyfriend and Sehun likes is new carpet. It's soft so when they fuck on the living room floor, it doesn't chafe as much.
'You're right,' Yi Xing says, and he kisses Sehun's nose, standing on his toes to do so, 'Let's go home so I can fuck other parts of your body.'
It's a terrible pun, but it is also forgiven because it is sexy.
-
They’re waiting for their Thai takeout to arrive in Yi Xing’s gigantic Gangnam living room, and Sehun paces around, feeling hungry and frustrated because he tends to get testy when there's no food in his belly.
Yi Xing is playing simple, half-finished melodies on the couch, humming along and occasionally muttering either Chinese or Korean words as he pushes his hair out of his eyes. It’s getting long again. Just how Sehun likes it (he likes to tug at it in bed). He's wearing the shirt Sehun let him borrow once, a white one with a low collar that makes his clavicles stand out extra nicely.
Sehun paces around, and his eye falls on a framed picture next to the TV, and Sehun looks at it and recognizes a young Yi Xing standing next to Sehun’s family. He can see himself, or at least the twelve year old version of himself smiling with braces, and a younger mom and dad and Wu Fan looking absolutely terrible with, like, six hairs on his chin and a basketball jersey on. Yi Xing also looks kind of terrible, because he is wearing some bad excuse of a sweater that makes him look pasty, and his hair is sticking out every which way, but he’s also smiling, widely, that angel-smile, with one arm around Sehun and the other trying to sort of reach Wu Fan’s shoulder.
‘I don’t remember where this was taken,’ Sehun says, pointing at the picture, and Yi Xing stops playing for a second and stares.
‘I think it was when your parents took us to Changdeok Palace during spring break,’ Yi Xing says, ‘Wu Fan was pissed about it because he wanted to go to the beach instead.’
‘You look happy,’ Sehun smiles. He takes the picture with him as he sits down next to Yi Xing on the couch. Yi Xing rests his head on Sehun’s shoulder for a second and then takes the picture.
Why wouldn’t I be?’ he says, and then he turns his head a little to place a kiss at the underside of Sehun’s jaw, ‘I’m with family, there.’.
rating: pg-13
a/n:this fic is set in the domestic!au, i advise you to read the two aforegoing drabbles before you read this. you can find more of the series here
Sehun has had times before, in the past, when he thought he was dreaming. Like that time he caught his History teacher slipping out of the janitor’s office with wrinkles in her skirt and when he was six and Wu Fan tried to explain to him that, yes, they were brothers but, no, they didn’t have the same mom and dad.
Right now, he actually expects to wake up in his bed, probably drenched in cold sweat from the horrible nightmare he’s having, just like he did those times.
‘Oh shit,’ Jongin hisses from next to him, grabbing Sehun’s arm as if Sehun will have a heart attack and die within a couple of seconds. Which is understandable because right in front of both of them, Yi Xing is taking off his white button up, revealing toned arms and those sharp, sharp collar bones right above the hem of his wife beater.
‘I’m sorry, I’m such a klutz,’ Joonmyun says, already fetching for napkins to do some damage control to the coffee stains he left on Yi Xing’s chest, ‘I hadn’t seen you at all.’
And Sehun is standing frozen in the door opening of Joonmyun’s furniture shop, staring at Yi Xing. At Yi Xing with his slicked back hair and fucking arms and tired lines around his eyes and oh god, he hasn’t seen him for over a month and he can’t-
‘Sehun!’ Joonmyun calls, after realizing Sehun and Jongin are standing in the store, ‘Did you just come in to see Wu Fan, too?’ and Yi Xing looks up, recognizing Sehun, and all the color drainsfrom his fucking cheeks.
‘He’s out having lunch with Chanyeol at the moment, they should be back within half an hour or something,’ Joonmyun says cheerfully, obviously not noticing the fact that Sehun and Yi Xing are having a moment here.
‘Uhh,’ Jongin whispers, because he does realize they are having a moment, ‘What do I do here? Do I just-’
Run, Sehun thinks, run and drag me with you, or if it’s not too much of a bother, grab the nearest sharp object and stab me with it.
‘Sehun-ah,’ Yi Xing says softly, and Sehun… FUCKING SHORT CIRCUITS!!!
‘I, ah, have to go now,’ he says, voice cracking, ‘Honestly forgot why I came here,’ and fuck Yi Xing’s arms look good, he would like to very much put his teeth in the- no. Nonono, he does not actually want to do that. Hahaha. He does not want to do anything sexual to Yi Xing at all.
Sehun chokes on nothing but air.
‘I now… must go,’ he gasps.
‘What?’ Joonmyun laughs, obviously confused, still rubbing with napkins over the coffee stain on Yi Xing’s belly which is just.
NOT OKAY.
‘Sehun…’ Jongin starts and is that a nipple showing through Yi Xing’s shirt? Is it really?!
‘Very many things to do and everything. This has been a terrible mistake. Must really go.’ And Sehun slowly walks backwards to the door of the shop, fully aware of how idiotic– no scratch that, how insane he must look.
‘But, Sehun,’ Yi Xing says, stepping forward.
‘Are you okay?’ Jongin says, reaching out for Sehun’s arm.
And as a reply, Sehun bolts for the fucking door.
-
‘What a great way to deal with that situation,’ Minseok mutters as he pushes a latte towards Sehun over the counter. He drops a sugar cube into it, just how Sehun likes his coffee, and Sehun sighs and grabs the steaming mug, taking a sip without stirring. The milk in his coffee is scalding hot, but Sehun doesn’t care. He doesn’t care because his life is a fucking disaster anyway and burning his tongue is the least of his problems.
‘I don’t think I have ever been so terrified in my life,’ he says.
He can’t get the imagine of Yi Xing being totally shocked out of his head. The way he had obviously dreaded the fact that he and Sehun were in one fucking room, the way he hadn’t known what to say to someone he’s known for ten years and fucked on a weekly basis for three.
What he also can’t get out of his head, is the image of Yi Xing’s coffee drenched shirt. And his nipple. That glorious, pink little fucker of a nipple.
‘That must be true since you’ve been moping about this guy for weeks and the first chance you get to talk to him you run away.’
Minseok wipes the espresso machine clean and then abandons it, sitting down next to Sehun on one of the bar stools at the counter. Business is slow, the rush of lunch break over and the little customers left in the shop already provided for, so it must be okay to leave base.
‘I didn’t know what to do!’ Sehun whines, ‘I am not used to confrontations in furniture shops, okay. Or anywhere. The last time I had an actual fight with someone was with my lab partner in high school and I haven’t actually spoken to Jung Soo Jung since eleventh grade.’
‘You are actually pathetic,’ Minseok laughs, shaking his head, but it’s a sad laugh, a laugh that you laugh when you feel sorry for someone who is too socially inept to confess his undying love to his brother’s best friend.
Sehun realizes fully well that he is living the scenario of the single worst soap opera ever. That doesn’t make it easier to live it. Because Yi Xing’s nipples are very fucking pink.
‘I know that,’ Sehun groans, and he drops his head to the wooden counter, ‘Of course I knowthat, hyung. So why doesn’t everybody else? Why can’t people give me a break?’
‘You said he looked shocked,’ Minseok says, ignoring this, and his hand finds the back of Sehun’s neck to squeeze it comfortingly, ‘Does that mean bad shocked or good shocked?’
‘What’s the difference?’ Sehun mumbles into the countertop, ‘What the actual hell is the-’
‘Well,’ Minseok says, ‘Bad shocked meaning oh god please leave, why are you back in my lifeand good shocked meaning… Err.’
The pause is more than a little disconcerting.
‘There is no such thing as good shocked, is there?’ Sehun says bitterly.
‘No, there is,’ Minseok says, ‘It’s just a little harder to explain.’
‘How am I supposed to know whether he was bad or good shocked? How am I supposed to know anything about him? He is a big fucking-’
‘No cursing in my espresso bar, Oh Sehun!’
‘-Chinese mystery enigma person with amazing collar bones and the face of an actual angel.’
‘For someone with a face as impassive as yours you are a hell of a sap,’ Minseok points out, and Sehun is so devastated he doesn’t even punch him for it.
‘What am I going to do, hyung?’ he says, ‘What am I ever going to do?’
Minseok sighs. A customer walks in, and he squeezes Sehun’s neck one last time before he goes back behind the counter.
‘It’ll work itself out,’ he says after taking the customer’s order and messing with the espresso machine, ‘Things like this always do.’
-
The thing is.
The thing. The thing is…
The thing is, that—
Okay. Sehun obviously doesn’t know what the thing is.
The thing is that Sehun doesn’t know what the actual fuck is going on.
The thing is that Sehun has been in love with Yi Xing, his brother’s best friend, for ten years now, for ten agonizing years, and he just can’t do it anymore. The fucking. The kissing. The not talking about “what” they “are” and how to go from that. The secrets and the, well, the fucking.
The thing is that Sehun asked Wu Fan why Yi Xing’s family is “complicated”, what that actuallymeans, and Wu Fan said: ‘Complicated means being the heir to a company you don’t want, and the son to parents who don’t care what you do want.’
Sehun wants Yi Xing, as in, wants him completely, and Yi Xing only gives him breadcrumbs that don’t even lead him to the witch’s house.
The thing is that Sehun thinks that that’s the only kind of affection Yi Xing knows how to show.
-
Sehun trusted Minseok when he told him things would work out. He trusted him because Minseok owns three fucking espresso bars around town and has awards hanging in his office for his awesome coffee making skills and lives in a Gangnam apartment with a minibar in the living room.
He trusted him because it seemed like the thing to do, taking advice from a self-made man like Kim Minseok.
Yet trusting a self-made man like Kim Minseok turned out to be a fucking mistake.
It’s a Thursday, and Sehun is clipping his toenails because he doesn’t have anything better to do because Yi Xing hasn’t come over in over a month which his mind apparently cannot accept because he continues to clear his schedule for Thursday afternoons even when Yi Xing hasn’t come over in over a month. It’s raining, too, which is in sync with Sehun’s mood.
So when there’s a knock on Sehun’s door and Sehun decides he doesn’t have to bother with a shirt because it’s probably just someone asking him to turn the music down (which he will not do because you are supposed to play hip hop music very loudly, Wu Fan explained to him once), he is more than a little surprised to find Yi Xing standing in his door opening, soaking wet from the downpour outside.
‘Uhh,’ Sehun says intelligently.
‘Hi, Sehun-ah,’ Yi Xing says, eyes drifting to Sehun’s naked chest, and then sneezes.
And Sehun isn’t sure what this means, because Yi Xing closes the door behind him and kisses him, tasting like rain and Chinese food which he probably had for lunch. And when Sehun detaches his mouth and wants to ask what this means, Yi Xing gives him this look, this fucking heartbreaking pleading look , and shakes his head.
‘Later,’ he says, and okay Sehun thinks, and then they fuck on the bed.
Yi Xing is still shivering once they’re done, and Sehun is, well, feeling as sick as Yi Xing looks. But for totally different reasons, of course.
He crawls out of bed and grabs a sweater and an extra blanket.
‘I think you’re getting sick,’ he says, ‘You should wear this.’ He holds out the sweater, this ugly grey thing that he stole from Jongin in high school once, and Yi Xing takes it. His cheeks are all red and Sehun doesn’t know if it’s from sex or illness.
‘I’m fine,’ he mumbles even as he slides into the thing. It’s doesn’t fit quite right, it’s too wide at the shoulders and too short at the sleeves, but at least Yi Xing looks a little less cold in it.
Sehun gets back into bed, and Yi Xing pulls him into his chest, makes him lie on top of him underneath the covers.
‘You’re very warm,’ he says, his voice coming out too nasal but still sounding like a smile, ‘Warmer than the sweater.’
‘Well,’ Sehun says, ‘I suppose that’s because I’m very hot.’
And fuck. Shit, really just shit, that came out wrong and very conceited and Sehun actually shrinks into himself because he actually meant that he felt hot as in warm because we just had sex and I do not have a possible fever like you do.
But Yi Xing chuckles and snuggles even closer, and he says: ‘That you are.’
There’s a comfortable enough silence for a while, but then Sehun just has to ask because this is getting ridiculous and he won’t be able to forgive himself if he lets Yi Xing go this time without answers. He’s also pretty sure Minseok will kick him if he finds out.
‘Why did you come?’ he says into Yi Xing’s hair, ‘You haven’t… you haven’t been here for quite some time, hyung.’
He can hear Yi Xing swallowing and he looks down. Yi Xing’s nose is red and his eyes glossy and, really, Sehun should think he gross, sickly and sweaty from the probably upcoming fever, but instead he thinks Yi Xing looks kind of beautiful.
‘Maybe I missed you,’ Yi Xing says softly, reaching out to stroke through Sehun’s hair, ‘If that’s okay.’
‘I could’ve been busy,’ Sehun says, because he’s an idiot, and needs to never speak again,‘Maybe I’d been out with friends, or studying, or grocery shopping…’
‘But you weren’t,’ Yi Xing chuckles, scratching behind Sehun’s ear, ‘I’m very grateful for that.’
‘Oh,’ Sehun says, because, well, how do you reply to that, ‘That’s… yeah.’
And there’s a million other things Sehun wants to ask, wants to explain, but somehow he can’t bring himself to do it with the way Yi Xing keeps sniffing and sneezing and how he pulls Sehun closer into his chest whenever he shivers particularly violently.
Sehun is terrified that Yi Xing, with his ear on Sehun’s chest, can hear his erratic heartbeat giving away how he feels but Yi Xing doesn’t say anything about it.
-
This is why Sehun was so shocked to see Yi Xing at the furniture shop:
Weeks ago, Sehun asked Yi Xing, after their weekly fuck fest, why Wu Fan called Yi Xing’s relationship with his family “complicated” and Yi Xing didn’t answer that question. Instead, he left, and didn’t contact Sehun again.
And that felt like five years ago, when Sehun was alone with Yi Xing in the kitchen of Sehun’s house, Wu Fan searching for some book in his room, and he was seconds, seconds away from telling him he was in love with him, when Yi Xing grabbed his face between both his hands and kissed the words right out of his mouth, called him a cutie afterwards and then pretended none of it happened when they heard Wu Fan coming down the stairs.
Yi Xing has a habit of taking little pieces of Sehun’s heart when he least expects it and then disappearing with it, only to barge back into his life silently asking for more.
-
Sehun doesn’t wake up in an empty bed a few hours later.
What he does wake up to, is a fucking cold body on his chest. A shivering cold fucking body.
‘Shit, hyung, you look terrible,’ Sehun groans when Yi Xing wakes too and looks up. He yawns, then sneezes, the stupid stupid fuck and hell, Yi Xing looks even worse than he did before. Since when do people even develop colds that quickly?
‘I think,’ Yi Xing says, then coughs for what seems to be a full minute, ‘I think I need medicine.’
Sehun tries to reach the nightstand without moving from underneath Yi Xing but can’t. Yi Xing chuckles, a nasty and raspy sound, and then he rolls off Sehun.
Then he sneezes again.
‘My head hurts,’ Yi Xing grumbles as Sehun gets up to find some pain killers, ‘Everything is spinning.’
‘That’s your own fault,’ Sehun says, rummaging through his nightstand, ‘You should’ve brought an umbrella. And warmer clothes.’ He stares at Yi Xing´s poor excuse for a shirt on the floor, with a v-neck that is sinful, and apparently, also quite dangerous to your physical health.
‘Well, I guess it was worth it,’ Yi Xing says, and Sehun isn’t sure if the lilt to his voice is teasing or, you know, just him being fucking sick, ‘Do you have painkillers?’
‘Yeah,’ Sehun says and then he tosses a strip onto the bed and starts looking for his water bottle in his backpack.
When he finds it and returns to the bed, Yi Xing is already popping three pills into his mouth, and he washes them down with the water quickly.
Sehun looks at him and suppresses a sigh. This would not be the moment to start a conversation about their “relationship” yet all he can think about is their “relationship” (and Yi Xing’s wellbeing of course) and it makes Sehun feel a little queasy because he doesn’t trust his own mouth. Also Yi Xing’s short, black hair is mussed and his eyes are puffy from sleep and illness and he looks gross/adorable/sexy in ways that give Sehun a serious fucking headache. He doesn’t know what to do or say.
So he just… stands in his room like a deranged person.
Which Yi Xing must be noticing because he chuckles, a horrible sound, and then throws the blankets off himself, revealing pale skin and lean muscles where the sweater isn't covering him up.
‘Am I in your way, Sehun-ah?’ he asks sweetly, and Sehun has to actually bite his lip not to tell Yi Xing that he will never be in his way ever because it’s better to have him around than to not have him around and think about him all the time in an angsty teenage love story sort of way. He looks at his toes.
‘I was clipping my toenails when you came over,’ he says because, as said before, Sehun is a fucking idiot.
‘Pressing matters,’ Yi Xing nods in that way that makes Sehun confused about whether or not he’s serious or joking, ‘When the medication has kicked in I’ll probably feel good enough to call a cab or something. I’ll get out of your hair.’
‘No, of course not. You can stay as long as you want,’ Sehun says, then gasps at his emotions, then groans and sits at the edge of the bed.
‘Are you okay?’ Yi Xing asks, and Sehun can hear the sheets rustling and then Yi Xing’s hand is on his shoulder, his chest against Sehun’s back, ‘You seem a little… off. Is something going on?’
Yes!!! Sehun wants to scream.
‘No,’ Sehun says.
I am in love with you and you keep hurting me and confusing me!!! Sehun wants to scream.
‘I’m just tired,’ Sehun says.
The thing is, though, that Yi Xing seems to pick up what Sehun wants to say instead of what he’s actually saying, because he noses the side of Sehun’s neck, kisses the little dip between throat and shoulder, and says: ‘I’m sorry.’
It’s silent for a long time before Sehun squeaks: ‘For what?’
Yi Xing is playing with the hairs in Sehun’s neck and one hand slides around his waist and they’re all pressed up against each other now, but Yi Xing’s grip is loose like he wants Sehun to be able to escape if he needs to.
‘You know,’ Yi Xing says, ‘I never really meant to do it. But-’ he coughs again and it makes Sehun wince, ‘I have been treating you quite badly, I think.’
‘Not badly,’ Sehun counters, and he gingerly slides his own palm over Yi Xing’s hand, feeling the roughness of his fingers and enjoying how easily Yi Xing spreads his fingers for Sehun to put his own between. He wouldn’t call giving Sehun the orgasms and kisses of his life “bad”.
‘I think when you know someone has feelings for you, and you take advantage of that because you want to make yourself feel better,’ Yi Xing says, and all of a sudden Sehun doesn’t enjoy their interlaced fingers anymore, ‘That’s called treating someone badly.’
The anger hits him fast like a bullet. Sehun wants to—he wants to… He doesn’t know what he wants.
But he is fucking furious all of a sudden and his body is—
Standing up and screaming sounds like the thing to do. Or throwing all the things he owns in this room against the wall. But so does running away and finding a nice, lonely corner to cry in. Either way, Sehun is stiff with rage and he can’t find a way to breathe around the sense of embarrassment that’s currently clogging up his windpipe.
‘You knew.’
It’s not a question. Sehun’s jaw is tight, his teeth clenched.
‘Well,’ Yi Xing begins, but Sehun doesn’t want to hear it, because Yi Xing has this way of talking about everything he does in such a self-deprecating way that Sehun feels sorry and forgiving towards him before he even finishes his arguments, and right now, Sehun doesn’t want to forgive him.
He wants to be pissed off.
‘You knew I was in love with you,’ he interrupts whatever Yi Xing is saying, and Yi Xing sniffs, his droopy eyes pleading, and it just pisses Sehun off even more.
‘Do you know the agony-’ he starts, then catches himself because he doesn’t need Yi Xing to fucking feel sorry for him either, and then he just gets up from the bed, grabs Yi Xing’s shirt and tosses it into his lap.
‘Sehun,’ Yi Xing says.
‘I think it’s time you went home,’ Sehun says.
He marches off into the bathroom and doesn’t come out before he’s sure Yi Xing has left.
-
‘You’re ruining my business,’ Minseok says as he hands Sehun over his fourth iced latte.
‘How is that?’ Sehun grumbles, picking his head up from his table and jabbing the straw Minseok has also put down into his drink.
‘Because no lovey dovey couple is going to enjoy their coffee date in my espresso bar when there’s a sobbing teenager sitting next to them.’
‘I’m not sobbing. Or a teenager.’
‘But you are,’ Minseok says, pointing at the suspiciously wet spot on the table where Sehun’s head used to be, ‘And when you’re not sobbing, you’re scowling at people, and that is also not good for business.’
‘So you want me to leave because I’m a parasite. Great,’ Sehun sighs, yet not feeling angry about that because, well, that would be distracting him from his embarrassment and heartbreak over The Chinese Heartbreak-Xing Situation (Jongin is terrible at naming things, that is why his dogs are called Monggu, Jjanga and Jjangu for fuck’s sake). Sehun likes to wallow.
Minseok sighs and flicks Sehun’s forehead like he isn’t hurting enough already.
‘No, I want you to stop feeling sorry for yourself and get a life,’ Minseok says, ‘The parasite thing is just an excuse for my concern.’ He pauses for a second and then adds, ‘But you are bad for business.’
Sehun slurps from his iced latte until the brain freeze kicks in. He wishes he could get heart freeze, too. Or, better yet, he would like not to have a heart at all like that tin guy in The Wizard of Oz. Talking about that tin guy, why would anybody want a fucking heart anyway?! It can only break and then all you have left is this hollow feeling in your chest and stomach/headaches from ice cold chocolate flavored beverages with too much sugar in them.
‘You have that look in your eyes, like you’re trying to find solutions to your life by going through the plot of My Love from The Stars again,’ Minseok says, and Sehun puts his head back down on the table and groans.
‘I never want to do anything ever again.’
‘That sounds hard,’ Minseok says.
‘I’m serious,’ Sehun whines, hard enough for a man who is working at his laptop to sigh and pack up his things to go find a quieter place. Sehun sees Minseok cringe as the man walks past, giving Sehun a nasty look, and thinks, see, I am a fucking parasite.
‘You should stop feeling sorry for yourself,’ Minseok says again, sounding like his patience is slipping as he sits down across from Sehun, ‘What do you want to do? Do you want to have a fist fight with him? Or move on? Or, like… cry on his shoulder and make up with large amounts of sex and blowjobs or whatever you do when you like men? I can’t help you when the only thing you do is sit here and groan like a clubbed seal. Do you want this to be okay again or not?’
‘I don’t fucking know, hyung!’ Sehun shrieks, and Minseok slaps him on the back of his head hard enough for the whole shop to hear.
The thing is, Sehun does know what he wants. He wants to go over to Yi Xing’s downtown apartment, grab him by the shoulders and shake him very hard for making Sehun’s life miserable for the past decade. Then he wants to ask him if he recovered well from his fever, because Sehun did throw him out of his dorm room with the sniffles. Then he will demand Yi Xing to make some sort of life commitment to Sehun to never hurt him again and, if possible, give him all of his heart so they can be together. Then they can have a lot of make up sex and everything will be great and wonderful and epically heavenly.
But there is a chance that Yi Xing will not want to give Sehun all of his heart, because Yi Xing has slept with Sehun for over three years and allowed Sehun to jack off to the idea of them kissing for at least eight, and he never said a fucking thing about it. Or acted on it.
So Sehun also, kind of, wants to gut him with a blunt knife. To be honest.
All wandering thoughts that distract him from Minseok just slapping the back of his head.
‘No cursing in my bar,’ Minseok hisses, and Sehun rubs the back of his head and prays the headache will make him forget about the heartache.
-
Three weeks into The Chinese Heartbreak-Xing Situation, and Wu Fan is going fucking nuts.
‘You are pathetic,’ he hisses as he drags Sehun out the dorm in his pajama pants, ‘And a shitty excuse for a human being,’ across campus and past the subway station , ‘And the worst brotherever,’ into the nearest samgyeopsal restaurant, ‘And you need to get drunk and stop wallowing.’
‘I hate you,’ Sehun says ten minutes later when Wu Fan jams his mouth full with lettuce and meat and then pushes a glass of soju towards him and gives him a look that says you better drink this, or else.
‘No. I hate you. You are ruining my life,’ Wu Fan just responds, giving Sehun another shot immediately after he’s downed his first, ‘You can’t sleep with my best friend behind my back and then make yourself miserable, and then also make him miserable because you’re miserable-’
‘What the-’
‘-because it’s making me miserable and I don’t like being miserable at all.’
Sehun wipes his mouth after his second shot and watches Wu Fan finish the rest of the soju bottle in one go. He makes a very painful noise after swallowing and gestures for the ahjumma watching them disapprovingly at the bar to bring them another bottle.
‘So,’ Sehun says, feeling even more like a loser, ‘You knew, too?’
‘No, you moron,’ Wu Fan growls, pushing the meat around on the grill, ‘I am the most dense motherfucker on the planet. I didn’t have a fucking clue.’
‘True.’
‘But you’ve been rewatching Titanic for at least fifteen times these past weeks, and Yi Xing keeps playing extremely depressing love songs on his guitar every time I come over, and I’m notthat dense,’ Wu Fan sighs.
Sehun supposes Wu Fan isn’t. He also supposes Yi Xing playing depressing love songs because of him makes him feel oddly good about himself.
‘Also he told me you guys were having a fight, so my suspicions were confirmed with hard facts,’ Wu Fan mumbles, ‘And now I’m here to make you stop self-destructing with tragic movies and bacon flavored crisps.’
‘So, you’re going to get me drunk and tell me to get over it?’ Sehun says, taking pieces of bulgogioff the grill and adding it to the other side dishes he’s put in Wu Fan’s lettuce, ‘Because Jongin tried that, and I ended up holding his bangs up as he vomited up two orders of fried chicken at his sister’s house.’
‘No,’ Wu Fan says, ‘I have a better plan.’
And an hour or two later, Sehun would understand what Wu Fan’s plan was, if he were sober. Because Wu Fan has been getting him absolutely plastered and now he’s drunk-texting Yi Xing he’s coming over from a cab, Wu Fan giving even more drunk directions to the driver next to him.
‘Right. Here,’ Wu Fan hiccups, ‘N-nonono, I said right, didn’t I say right? why are we—are we going left?! Oh my god, are you seriously that-’
As the cab driver mutters something about Wu Fan needing to check his thumbs, Sehun checks out the enormous Gangnam apartment buildings and imagines Yi Xing living in every one of them. Then they pull up to possibly the biggest, fanciest one, and
Wufan pushes him out of the cab.
‘Make up, or something,’ he screams way too loudly and drunkenly as Sehun stumbles onto the sidewalk, drawing attention from practically the entire block, ‘And have sex and then never talk to me about this again!!!’
‘I fuckin’ hate you,’ Sehun yells back, and he is so out of it that he doesn’t even realize Wu Fan is giving him the finger before he slams the door of the cab shut, probably shouting the wrong directions back to his own place at the driver.
He also doesn’t really know how he ends up on the seventh floor of the apartment building, pounding on a random door he isn’t even sure is Yi Xing’s, possibly waking up the whole hallway while he does so.
‘Sehun!’ someone yells, from the entire other end of the hall, and Sehun turns too quickly for his drunk mind to catch up, making himself nauseous. Yi Xing is standing in the door opening of his apartment, wearing red pajama pants and a long sleeved shirt.
Because Sehun’s life is a joke, Yi Xing looks superfantastically hot in a sad kind of way. This does not make Sehun less drunk and angry, though.
‘You asshole,’ Sehun hisses, just as an old, respectable looking man opens the door he’s standing in front of in a bathrobe with a phone in his hand, looking absolutely furious.
‘I am calling the police right this instant,’ he says, and Sehun would yell at him to mind his own business if it wasn’t for Yi Xing suddenly being there and dragging him into the largest and most expensive looking living room Sehun has ever seen in real life.
‘You can’t do this, Sehun,’ Yi Xing says, but he doesn’t sound angry, Sehun thinks. Not that thinking is… going so well, right now.
‘You can’t do this,’ he growls, stumbling as Yi Xing pushes him onto the couch, ‘You can’t just… just, just fuckin’, do this. Do me! And then…’ he waves his hands around which must properly explain what he means because Yi Xing looks apologetic and then puts a hand to Sehun’s cheek. He smells like the most delicious shower gel ever and cheese crackers.
Fuck, Sehun would kill for a cheese cracker. Yi Xing must have really expensive ones that taste like butter and cheesy heaven and salt from Atlantis or something.
‘You’ra bad person, hyung,’ Sehun sighs, ‘So, so bad. It’s just bad. You’re… you are bad.’
‘I know,’ Yi Xing says, ‘And I’m sorry.’
‘No, you’re not,’ Sehun mumbles, taking another good sniff of the cheese on Yi Xing’s breath. His mouth is watering, he realizes distantly. Because of the cheese. Not because Yi Xing is a fucking hot heartbreaker person thing. His hand is still on Sehun’s cheek, which is… distracting.
‘No, I am,’ Yi Xing says, swiping his thumb past the corner of Sehun’s lip, ‘And you would know if you answered my calls. Or texts. Or e-mails.’
‘… Or Facebook messages,’ Sehun helpfully adds, and Yi Xing laughs, sounding like an angel.
‘Or Facebook messages,’ he says.
‘So, what now?’ Sehun says, getting tired and wanting cheese crackers and, maybe, to make out with Yi Xing a little. He’s slumping forward and Yi Xing catches him, a firm hand on Sehun’s chest, ‘I wazzupposed to… you know. Scream. But then Wu Fan screamed and I used up all my scream? I am too tired…’ he yawns and Yi Xing chuckles again, running a hand through Sehun’s hair, ‘… to scream. So.’
‘Wu Fan is a good hyung,’ Yi Xing says, as if that matters at all.
‘I hate him,’ Sehun says, burping up some soju and scowling at the taste in his mouth, ‘An’ Minseok hyung. An’ you, too. Hyungs are…’ he waves his hand again, ‘…Stupid.’
Then the level of attraction to the cheese/Yi Xing’s mouth becomes too much and Sehun turns his head towards Yi Xing, trying to look at him properly despite of his drunk, foggy vision.
‘And hot,’ he says, and he leans in.
Sehun obviously expects Yi Xing to not return the kiss and push him away, since Sehun is, after all, a drunk, blubbering mess and probably smells like barbeque and soju.
But he doesn’t expect Yi Xing to say ‘Don’t you think we should stop kissing away the important conversations for once?’ as he does it.
Sehun blinks.
‘Whah?’
‘I just think,’ Yi Xing says, and he looks nervous and gorgeous and like he’s about to embarrass Sehun again, ‘We should talk first. Sober. Before we do this again.’
It’s kind of hurtful for all it isn’t completely and utterly terrifying, so Sehun makes a nasty sound and looks away, feeling rejected. But then Yi Xing takes his face between both hands this time, forcing their eyes to meet.
‘What I’m saying is, I would very much like to apologize in person. When you’re sober. You can stay the night and tomorrow I will give you some painkillers and we can talk.’
‘Hmmfrgph,’ Sehun manages to get out, positively drowning in Yi Xing’s dark bottomless pools of eyes (‘Dramatic,’ Jongin called his drunken state once, ‘Extremely fucking dramatic’).
‘You can sleep in my bed, come on,’ Yi Xing says.
Sehun lets himself get dragged to a gigantic bedroom, lets Yi Xing strip him and put him in a soft, grey wife beater that smells just Yi Xing’s skin, and then lets Yi Xing tuck him into the softest bed ever.
‘I want cheese crackers,’ he mumbles, already half asleep and burying his face into the pillow, ‘An’ kisses.’
‘I’ll get you some,’ Yi Xing says, smiling down at him. Sehun thinks he feels lips kissing his forehead but he’s asleep before he can tell.
-
There is sunlight shining into Sehun’s eyes when he wakes up, through the crack between the curtains, and Sehun thinks, as he turns away from the hellish light, that he would very much like to commit hara-kiri if possible because his head hurts more than he thought possible.
Then he sits up, big mistake, and feels more nauseous than he thought possible and then he thinks about what the fucking fuck happened last night and he feels more embarrassed than he thought possible.
He considers sneaking out of Yi Xing’s window but then he realizes he’s scared of heights, or at least extremely high heights, so yeah.
When he has mustered up enough courage to drag his ass out of the bedroom, he finds Yi Xing in the living room, sleeping in a sitting position on the couch with his guitar resting on his lap. There’s also a book with lyrics lying open on the coffee table.
Sehun considers his options:
1. Going into the kitchen and finding whatever amount of painkillers he can find so he can numb his massive hangover, then possibly stealing Yi Xing’s book with lyrics.
2. Slipping out of the apartment and pretending last night never, ever happened.
There is, of course, also the third option which includes Sehun brushing his teeth, waking Yi Xing up and talking about whatever they need to talk about, but that one sounds absolutely ridiculous, so…
Sehun is about to get his clothes off the floor of Yi Xing’s bedroom when he hears a yawn, and he panics but doesn’t know where to run and is now suddenly honestly considering the option of jumping out of the window when
‘Good morning, Sehun-ah,’ Yi Xing says, in a croaking, sweet, gorgeously tired voice, and Sehun feels his stomach turning, the butterflies twirling ‘round and ‘round and ‘round in his sensitive belly. Yi Xing stretches, and there’s a bit of skin visible between his shirt and sweatpants and Sehun’s mouth feels dry, his throat funny. He thinks it’s a wave of lovesickness at first, the gut churning thing that happens, but it’s when he throws up all over the living room floor while trying to say hello that he realizes it’s not.
‘Well,’ Yi Xing says, watching it all happen, ‘That’s quite the conversation starter.’
-
‘So if I get this right,’ Jongin says around a mouthful of mini chocolate chip cookies, shamelessly hoarding the basket as if Joonmyun, who’s in the bathroom, hadn’t ordered them for everybody, ‘You threw up on his carpet and then became his boyfriend?’
Sehun groans, and Yi Xing laughs and Wu Fan just puts on that constipated face he has been wearing a lot ever since his best friend and younger brother started dating.
‘That’s so… romantic,’ Chanyeol sighs helplessly, giving Wu Fan a longing look.
‘Is it?’ Jongin asks, pieces of cookie flying from his mouth, ‘I thought buying flowers was romantic. Or, you know, kissing… and stuff.’ He blushes, because he is pathetic, and Sehun wants to leave.
But then Minseok comes with their drinks (decaf hazelnut latte for Jongin because, as said earlier, he’s pathetic, and various versions of coffee for the rest of them) and he gives Jongin a pat on the head and another basket of cookies as he says: ‘It’s so obvious you grew up with two sisters and no sense of reality, poor kid.’
Jongin looks confused and Minseok smug and Yi Xing squeezes Sehun’s thigh underneath the table as Sehun takes a sip from his coffee and licks the foam mustache from his lips. They’re sitting too close for Wu Fan’s liking, which means they’re sitting perfectly close for Sehun’s.
Sehun squirms in his seat when Yi Xing’s hand slides higher, and he thinks about all the things he’s going to do to Yi Xing when they get back to his apartment and they’ve taken their clothes off. They might not be able to make it to the bedroom today, because Yi Xing has been teasing Sehun all afternoon. During the cab ride to Minseok’s bar, he “fell asleep” on Sehun’s lap and shamelessly rubbed his head against Sehun’s groin as Sehun tried very hard not to go crazy.
‘There was a long conversation before the boyfriend part,’ Yi Xing laughs, bringing an almost drooling Sehun back to the present.
There was. Sehun cried and it was embarrassing but then Yi Xing told him he might be kind of really in love with Sehun, too. Everything was okay after that, even the throwing up and crying part.
‘And a lot of fucking,’ Sehun helpfully chips in, reminiscing the moment in the shower, and then in the bedroom, and then in the shower again.
‘God, please kill me,’ Wu Fan mutters, and Chanyeol pats him on the back consolingly before he slides his chair closer and turns the patting into some sort of foreplay-ish stroking of the shoulder and neck. Wu Fan doesn’t seem to notice. Or he just likes it, which is even more disconcerting, Sehun thinks.
‘Why are you guys always talking about wanting to die or sex when I get back from the restroom?’ Joonmyun sighs as he takes his seat next to Jongin, who is busy eating the second batch of mini cookies without hands. Joonmyun tugs at Jongin’s hair to get his nose out of the basket (literally) and then takes a sip of his double espresso.
‘I never talk about wanting to die or sex,’ Jongin says, and Joonmyun smiles sadly at his cousin as he gives him a tissue to wipe the streaks of chocolate and cookie crumbs from his face.
‘That you do not,’ he says.
Yi Xing’s hand is now on Sehun’s dick and Sehun is slowly sipping from his cappuccino and pretending he isn’t fucking turned on and ready to pounce Yi Xing right here in front of all of their friends. He keeps an eye on his boyfriend (because that’s what Yi Xing is now, for everyone to know and for Sehun to still have delightful, little panic attacks about when he’s alone and reality strikes), and Yi Xing is innocently stirring the sugar in his coffee and listening to Joonmyun telling some boring anecdote about his tutee-turned-prince charming Kyungsoo and a wine salesman down at Insa-dong.
Innocently stirring his coffee and, of course, palming Sehun’s cock through his jeans.
Sehun is going nuts. He keeps shifting, trying to, sort of, increase the friction while at the same time imagining what Wu Fan would do to Yi Xing if he found out what was going on underneath their table.
Yi Xing keeps making these humming noises to let Joonmyun know he’s listening to his stupid story, but he’s also slowly unzipping Sehun’s jeans, pushing in a finger and running it up and down the small part of Sehun’s length he can reach.
It’s driving Sehun nuts. It’s driving Sehun mad. It’s driving Sehun to the brink of horny desperation.
‘WE NEED TO GO!’ he declares in a war lord sort of tone, shooting up as Joonmyun gets to the “good part” where Kyungsoo beats the wine-salesman in an argument about fucking chianti wine, and covering up his bulge with his backpack.
‘Sehun-ah…’ Yi Xing says in fake shock, but Sehun has pulled him out of the bar before anybody can protest.
‘What the hell, hyung,’ he hisses as he drags Yi Xing to the nearest alleyway where they can have some sort of privacy, ‘You can’t touch me like that in public!’
‘But you look so pretty when you’re flushing and desperate,’ Yi Xing says, in a considering tone that suggest he’s talking about what type of fucking ice cream he prefers over the other.
‘Wu Fan hyung will kill you one day,’ Sehun grunts, and then he pushes Yi Xing against the wall of the alley and slams his mouth onto Yi Xing’s before the man can reply.
It is desperate for a moment, with clanking teeth and Sehun nipping at Yi Xing’s mouth hard enough to hurt, but then Yi Xing puts his hand on Sehun’s hips, angles his chin up, and guides them into a slower, more sensual rhythm, into a kiss that makes Sehun gasp helplessly into Yi Xing’s slick and warm mouth. Sehun has a height advantage over Yi Xing but Yi Xing has this way of taking the reins, letting Sehun go wild before he yanks his hair or pushes him into the bed or holds him still and looks at him, and then Sehun gets pliant and lets Yi Xing do whatever he wants, gives him complete control and lets go.
It’s always been like that, and it’s been dangerous, too, in those days when Sehun was desperate for Yi Xing’s attention and Yi Xing didn’t know what to do with the power he had over him because he didn’t know what he wanted. Those were the times when Sehun gave in because he hoped Yi Xing would do the same. But now, as Yi Xing gently pushes Sehun’s head lower and kisses at the corner of his chin, mouthing up his jaw with his teeth scraping past Sehun’s skin in that way that makes him shudder, Sehun knows there’s a difference.
Because now, Yi Xing makes him shudder because he knows what Sehun wants and he likes to give him what he wants. Now, he palms Sehun’s cock underneath a restaurant table, because he knows Sehun’s been thinking about fucking him during the entire conversation. Now, he makes Sehun match his pace because he knows eventually Sehun will enjoy this way of kissing better.
Now, he comes over on Thursday afternoons, and he stays.
'We need to go home,' Sehun says into Yi Xing's mouth, and Yi Xing chuckles, breathing coffee scented hair against Sehun's skin.
'If I knew you'd get so needy after becoming my boyfriend, I would have figured out my feelings way earlier,' he says.
'Do realize that you are saying this after you needed to get a new carpet because you fucked my head up so much,' Sehun scowls, but he is not angry, because Yi Xing is his boyfriend and Sehun likes is new carpet. It's soft so when they fuck on the living room floor, it doesn't chafe as much.
'You're right,' Yi Xing says, and he kisses Sehun's nose, standing on his toes to do so, 'Let's go home so I can fuck other parts of your body.'
It's a terrible pun, but it is also forgiven because it is sexy.
-
They’re waiting for their Thai takeout to arrive in Yi Xing’s gigantic Gangnam living room, and Sehun paces around, feeling hungry and frustrated because he tends to get testy when there's no food in his belly.
Yi Xing is playing simple, half-finished melodies on the couch, humming along and occasionally muttering either Chinese or Korean words as he pushes his hair out of his eyes. It’s getting long again. Just how Sehun likes it (he likes to tug at it in bed). He's wearing the shirt Sehun let him borrow once, a white one with a low collar that makes his clavicles stand out extra nicely.
Sehun paces around, and his eye falls on a framed picture next to the TV, and Sehun looks at it and recognizes a young Yi Xing standing next to Sehun’s family. He can see himself, or at least the twelve year old version of himself smiling with braces, and a younger mom and dad and Wu Fan looking absolutely terrible with, like, six hairs on his chin and a basketball jersey on. Yi Xing also looks kind of terrible, because he is wearing some bad excuse of a sweater that makes him look pasty, and his hair is sticking out every which way, but he’s also smiling, widely, that angel-smile, with one arm around Sehun and the other trying to sort of reach Wu Fan’s shoulder.
‘I don’t remember where this was taken,’ Sehun says, pointing at the picture, and Yi Xing stops playing for a second and stares.
‘I think it was when your parents took us to Changdeok Palace during spring break,’ Yi Xing says, ‘Wu Fan was pissed about it because he wanted to go to the beach instead.’
‘You look happy,’ Sehun smiles. He takes the picture with him as he sits down next to Yi Xing on the couch. Yi Xing rests his head on Sehun’s shoulder for a second and then takes the picture.
Why wouldn’t I be?’ he says, and then he turns his head a little to place a kiss at the underside of Sehun’s jaw, ‘I’m with family, there.’.
